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Originally published June 18th 2020

“Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I’ll rise.”
— Maya Angelou (from “Still I Rise”)

1st June 2019, I woke up bereft and stared out of the patio doors of my new house to my garden. It was the first day of my imposed gardening leave. I had had 6 working days’ notice to process the news and 1 weekend to pull myself together. I had had to coordinate informing two staff bodies, two students bodies and two parent bodies that I had not only resigned but that I was leaving at May half-term. I wasn’t allowed to elaborate at the time that I had actually resigned on April 1st giving extended notice or that I wanted to work my notice to the end of July. I couldn’t address the confusion that I had just bought a brand new house down the road from our two schools and clarify why I was leaving or why it was so sudden. Everyone knew I had uprooted my life and relocated for the promotion.

I had spent the first few days of May half-term looking out on a patch of mud. I felt both helpless and hopeless. The garden was bleak, as was my mood. Luckily, I then disappeared to Wales for a few days with my wing women to emotionally and physically escape, to walk and to talk it all out. We plotted and planned what life on the other side might look like for me. We talked about sound tracks and which songs captured 2019 for us as a lot had happened for each of us and it was only May. The girls suggested Rise Up from Andra Day from her album The Fall for me – the lyrics really resonated with me and it has become a song I go back to. It is a song that lifts me.

And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
– Andra Day

I returned at the end of half-term and the gardeners had been to sort out my patch of earth and transform it into a garden for me. For a week the team had extended my patio, laid my turf, painted my fence and planted some trees for both privacy and shade. My garden looked and felt more peaceful. Planting is a cathartic act, seeds need nurturing, seeds need the right conditions to blossom and bloom, over time.

I went out with my senior team for my leaving team and I drank a lot of gin. I was still feeling numb so I then climbed into my metaphoric cave for a few days to regroup. I didn’t leave the house as I didn’t want to bump into any of our community and have to explain myself nor dodge awkward questions. I knew my teams were 5 minutes down the road working hard to cover me, juggling their own roles and the additional work that my absence had generated.

For the first time in 18 years I didn’t have a sense of purpose. I didn’t have a reason to get up in the morning. My sense of identity had gone. My daily meaning had gone. I had not had enough time to process and prepare for this change, I was not ready to lose all of my structures and routines that kept me going. The irony of it being called gardening leave. I felt like I was being punished. I felt like I was being put on the naughty step for daring to say No.

My parents were worried about me so they came to stay for a few days. We went to the garden centre and bought plants, we planted lavenders and verbena. Flashes of purple began to grow against the grey fence, the silver birch and the fresh greens of the lawn and the foliage. We drank gin, we talked through my options, they offered to lend me some money as all of my savings were invested in the house. A few days later I booked a 2 month trip to South America, via a visit to see my best mate in Vancouver and I went to what felt like the other side of the world in every possible way.

You cannot beat the therapy of being immersed in a different culture. Canada to Peru, through the Amazon jungle, up to the sublime mountain-scape of Macchu Picchu, through the salt flats of Bolivia to the city-scapes of Chile, via the vineyards of Argentina, across the Iguazu Falls to Brazil to arrive at Table Mountain, majestically framing stunning seascapes. Different landscapes, different languages, different people, different views, different sensory experiences: different perspectives.

I didn’t talk about work for 2 months. I thought about it, I reflected on it and I processed my emotions but I was just Hannah, a teacher from Oxford. I guess everyone in the group was seeking some escapism and was either running to or from something. We talked life, we talked dreams, we drank lots of red wine and we laughed.

The sense of freedom was liberating. I felt lighter and free for the first time in a very long time. I consciously shed some of the weight I had been carrying. I metaphorically threw emotional baggage off of the mountain top. Subconsciously in lots of the photos I am standing in the power pose, symbolic of the self-empowering process I was going through perhaps.

My adventure in South America ended, my grieving and healing process were well under way. I then went to San Francisco to visit friends and to Seattle to meet my best mate for a few days again before flying home. My 40th year was not going to be marred by how I was treated, I had created positive memories and found many silver linings to focus on.

1st September 2019 and I started a new role as a course leader at a university. Long story short it was not the right role, nor the right context for me. I realised quickly that I had been on the rebound when I had applied and secured it. Much like coming out of a difficult relationship and dating the wrong person, I had rebounded to the wrong thing. However, there were lots of highlights in this role including meeting some lovely new friends, travelling to the Netherlands for work, starting my MA and working with some fantastic trainees and mentors.

Leaving a school context after 18 years needed a process of calibration, an opportunity to decompress and this new working routine enabled that. For the first time in my adult life I worked 9am-5pm and had a lunch break every day, and I went to the toilet when I needed to pee! I established new boundaries and did not work in the evenings nor on the weekends. I didn’t know myself, as teaching had crept into what should have been my personal time over the years. I found new space, new time and new energy.

1st June 2020, 12 months on to the day. My website launched as I reached 1 month into working independently, for myself, on my terms. The only person who can compromise my mission, my vision and my values now is me. I am enjoying the independence, the autonomy and the freedom this new of working affords me.

I have shared my journey at safe events and in safe spaces over the last 12 months to empower other school leaders. Leaving roles, leaving teams and leaving schools under a cloud means you do not get closure, you are not able to say a proper goodbye. You leave carrying shame, with a heavy heart and a shadow over you. You feel guilty, dirty, chewed up and spat out.

I hope that by sharing my story I can reassure you that it will be okay, you will rise again, like a phoenix. And when you need a reminder – listen to the song or read my favourite poem by the writer who inspired me to become an English teacher and inspired me to write.

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
– Still I Rise, Maya Angelou

You will recover. You will rise again.

It has been said by friends in the past that my spirit animal should be a phoenix.

In Ancient Greek folklore, a phoenix is a long-lived bird that cyclically regenerates or is otherwise born again.

Associated with the sun, a phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor.

I definitely feel like I have been reborn. That I have risen up from the ashes.

This is me rising strong. Stronger than before. If that intimidates you, then let it, that says more about you than it does about me. If you want to complain to my boss, again, then do it – it’s me these days!

I am taking control back for my narrative. It is my story to tell and share, not yours. We either own our stories or they own us:

When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.
– Brene Brown

Originally published March 24th 2020

“Psychological resilience is the ability to mentally or emotionally cope with a crisis or to return to pre-crisis status quickly. Resilience exists when the person uses “mental processes and behaviors in promoting personal assets and protecting self from the potential negative effects of stressors”.

Resilience. It has become such a buzz word in schools and in society over the last few years. All of our thinking, reading and training about it will now serve us well.

There are loads of inspiring quotes out there about why we should be more resilient, but it is at times like these when our resilience is really tested.

A lot of the resilience quotes are about boats navigating turbulence and adjusting our sails. Remote working, social distancing and isolation are those adjustments we are making for our survival. We are not a lone ship on a sea, we are a fleet. We are in this together. We just need to put our anchors in for a while and sit tight, weather the storm. Blue skies and calm seas are on the horizon.

Another extended metaphor which we see for resilience, is that of a tree. The roots holding it in the ground. Our roots are our values, our families, our communities. We are bending, not breaking right now. Although the wind is so strong and the storm is so vicious that we are bending so far it feels like we are about to break, physically, emotionally and socially.

“The human capacity for burden is like bamboo- far more flexible than you’d ever believe at first glance.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

We may be falling down, but we will get up. We may fall again, but we will keep getting up. We are stronger than we think and more powerful than we know. We will not allow this invisible predator to hunt us down. Together we will beat it.

We may be facing a myriad of adversities, but it is our reaction to these adversities which will determine our next chapter. For me resilience is about creating order out of chaos, it is creating calm in a storm. We need our safe havens to retreat to.

Accepting our new reality, considering our new normal is difficult. Some things will be irrevocably changed over the coming days, weeks, months. Some of these changes will be welcomed, some will be fought against. But those changes will come whether we like them and accept them or not:

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”
― Elizabeth Edwards

So what is in your resilience store? What are the difficult and traumatic experiences that you already overcame? What are the resources you need to draw down on right now?

Self-care is of vital importance right now. When you are doing your home schedules for remote working, home learning, domestic duties and down time, make sure you are putting in ‘me time’. Whether it is a cup of tea and some silence in the garden, a book or a bath, build in those opportunities to stop, rest and recharge.

Consider what you can do to still your brain and calm your nerves. Focus your attention on what is in your control rather than what is out of your control. One thing we can control is our media consumption. I am watching the news and the Governmental updates, once a day, otherwise I am protecting myself. The social media hysteria will not help. Curating your communication sphere carefully is self-preservation. Turning notifications is not selfish, we need to establish new boundaries in our new world.

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou

Leadership presence is made up of several facets. Presence is the ability to take command of a room, assume a leadership role amongst various audiences, share our thinking and opinion with confidence, and strike a balance between talking and listening such that our communication style is both persuasive and impactful.

Leadership presence is a perception that is deeply rooted in organisational and cultural biases:

• Perceived confidence through words
• Perceived confidence through body language
• Ability to ask clear, meaningful questions
• Ability to craft and defend a clear point of view
• Being able to hold steady and participate effectively in debate
• Being able to stand one’s ground
• Expressed passion
• Asking questions at the right “level”

A leader with impressive presence is accomplished at:

• Adapting to an audience’s energy level, cadence, and needs. For example, for a less engaged group, we as leaders need to be able to rev up the energy, talk more than listen, and lead the conversation; whereas a more engaged, energised group requires more observation and facilitation.
• Having a certain level of situational awareness and be able to read the room quickly.
• Tracking with the conversation to determine the right approach toward influence. This requires thinking quickly on our feet, and reading both verbal and nonverbal cues.

Leadership presence is rooted in our basic values – and the “inner work” of knowing our strengths, weaknesses, talents and biases is crucial to aligning people’s impression of us with our best authentic self.

I am currently training with Resilient Leaders Elements to be a consultant coach. The coaching programme, platform and resources are based on 15 years worth of practice-led research from leaders across the world in different sectors. It is distilled down into 4 Elements, and each element is informed by 3 facets.

Leadership Presence is defined by RLE as:

“Being true to yourself, your values and your ethical code, being in service to others and bringing a focus and a bias for achievement to your organisation and to others around you.”

The impact of this element on us as leaders:

“You have presence even when you’re not in the room. The best person takes the lead and is fully supported by all around them, leading to greater effectiveness and better results. People know each other well enough to anticipate other’s actions and to act accordingly.”

As leaders we need to have presence and be aware of our presence. Our presence is shaped by how we show up, how we connect and how we commit:

• Authenticity: demonstrating integrity and conviction, operating to your values and your ethics, being true to yourself.
• Serving: the needs of others are the priority; you are committed to the development of people.
• Intentional: remaining focused on the purpose of the organisation, to be positive and appreciative rather than criticising; having personal energy and a bias for achievement.

Leadership presence can also be referred to as gravitas. I am often asked by people who I coach to help them build their gravitas.

Gravitas is a quality that a leader exudes because she chooses to say and do only what is important. Others grant her respect and pay particular attention to what she says and does because she knows that she adds weight or value to any situation in which she speaks.

Gravitas is confidence and expertise. It gives weight to our thoughts, words and actions, causing others to gravitate towards us. It is knowing our stuff, which gives us a credible, influential voice. To develop it, we first need to give value to ourselves, our thoughts and knowledge. We then need to become a subject matter expert in our area and show that we are able to answer any question thrown at us in a calm and collected way.

“I gravitate towards gravitas”.
Morgan Freeman

There is a lot of advice out there about how we as leaders can develop our presence and expand our gravitas. I have summarised some of the articles I have read below.
Firstly, we need to establish our leadership presence – here are 10 tips to consider (especially useful if you are new to leadership, new to role or new to an organisation):

1. Show up as a whole person
2. Lead with what we care about
3. Begin a conversation that others want to continue
4. Focus through your body
5. Cultivate sustainable curiosity
6. Start by standing still
7. Find the story in everything
8. Hold something back
9. Investigate your impact
10. Build our “muscle memory”

If you are established as a leader but want to improve your presence then consider these tips to further enhance how you are seen:

1. Boost your self-confidence and manage your self-doubt. To boost your confidence, adjust your physical posture so you are standing up straight – channel Amy Cuddy’s Power Pose.
2. Remind yourself: “What’s on their face is not about me.” Confident leaders maintain their composure at all times – staying calm is key to improving your leadership presence.
3. Stay credible. Credibility revolves around body language and communication. However, certain words — like “because” — automatically increase one’s credibility as it adds weight to what you are saying.
4. Invest in social capital. Your connections with others and your social relationships add value. Connect in a more powerful way with others – instead of focusing on how you can promote yourself, think about how you can help them.
5. Send two sets of body language signals. Showing confident body language will highlight your power and status, while open body language accentuates warmth and inclusiveness. By sending a perfect mixture of both, you will improve your leadership presence.

If you do not yet have the leadership presence you want, keep working through these 12 elements until you have discovered the influence that belongs to you and they have become positive habits.

1. Develop your character: Your character should never be silent. It needs to have a voice that reflects your heart and soul. When you lead with character, you give the essence of your identity.
2. Mind your attitude: Your attitude as a leader influences those around you, whether it is negative or positive. It will be felt by those around you more quickly than your actions. A great leadership presence is practised not so much in words as in attitudes and in actions.
3. Everything you wear has an expression: How you look and how you dress are important. Appearances make the first impression, so make sure your outward appearance reflects who you are inwardly – represent yourself authentically and appropriately.
4. Respect is the presence of everything: Great leaders build presence by practising respect in three ways: respect for self, respect for others, and responsibility for actions. Without respect and responsibility true leadership presence is impossible.
5. Master competency: Great leaders do not tell people what they know but show others how it is done. You have to be proficient in your field and an expert with your skills to have a presence in your leadership.
6. Cultivate communication: You need the skills to inform others, engage with others, and advise others in a clear and concise way that can be implemented and followed. The art of communication is the language of leadership.
7. Pay attention, your body is speaking: People may not always tell you how they feel, but they will always show you what they are thinking—you just have to pay attention to their presence. Body language sends clear message, even when people are not speaking. Make sure your own body language is consistent with what you say; do not contradict yourself.
8. Emotional intelligence: Intelligence is important, but emotional intelligence matters more. It gives you the ability to understand yourself and others, a critical component of creating presence.
9. Accountability is your responsibility: To have presence is to accept responsibility for your actions and be accountable for your results. Without accountability there is no presence in leadership. Hold yourself to account and be responsible for everything you say and do, moreover for the impact it has on others.
10. Motivation comes from within: A true leadership presence motivates and inspires others – to share a vision, to take initiative, to work towards a common purpose, to work together to accomplish tasks and to achieve goals. Be close enough to relate but be far enough to keep people moving forward.
11. Integrity is always the purpose: Some people think leadership is all about power, but actually it is all about having integrity. Having integrity means choosing your thoughts and actions based on your values and not on your personal gain.
12. Reputation builds perception: When you have a leadership presence, it becomes a central part of your reputation. When your reputation is built on your character, it is who you really are that defines how others see you.

Presence is much more than just being there, it is about adding value and making a difference for yourself and those around you. Leadership presence is seen externally but needs working on internally. Leading from within, leading ourselves stems from having a strong core.

Imagine your gravitas as an internal light bulb, the more confident, the more energy and the more authentic you become, the brighter that light shines. This light then emits from your body, through everything you say and do to create a powerful presence.

We thus need to focus on the inner work, before we can focus on the outer work. Through coaching and training you can break down and flex each of the individual components that together create a powerful whole. Hold on to your power and do not give it away. Fill the space – both physically and vocally, do not shrink and hide. Communicate confidently – reframe apologetic language, do not diminish yourself and avoid self-deprecation.

Be authentic. Be in service. Be intentional.

From global pandemics to national lockdowns–overall, we have collectively been through societal trials and tribulations.

More of us are quickly adapting to new socio-economical changes–and this hasn’t escaped the business realm.

When changes like these happen, having emotional intelligence is key. For the welfare and the health and safety of employees. Without a supportive network, you risk more than legal liability or duty of care.

Read all about emotional intelligence, why it’s an important tool to own, and how leaders can incorporate it into the workplace.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (or EI) is the ability to read emotional states within yourself or around others. People with higher emotional intelligence understand:

• What their feelings are.
• What caused them.
• How they can affect those in direct contact.

Possessing emotional intelligence distinguishes a vast difference between good and great leaders. Through this, a healthy and empathetic surrounding is formed. And in return, successes and achievements grow in abundance.

Why is it important to have emotional intelligence?

Some leaders might argue against having emotional intelligence or empathy. It might seem like a waste of time, effort, and resources.

But emotional intelligence is a powerful tool, which regulates workplace conditions, beyond comprehension.
You provide a unique level of understanding, care, and support–creating stronger relations with employees. Emotional intelligence:

• Allows staff to learn at their own pace, without worrying about making mistakes.
• Encourages positive performance, behaviour, and conduct.
• Helps identify issues and provides appropriate support.

How do leaders incorporate emotional intelligence?

For leaders, having emotional intelligence is applicable in both personal and professional lives. But how do you incorporate it into real working life? Here are simple checkpoints to use:

Empathy
One of the most important methods for growing emotional intelligence is having empathy. It’s so important when it comes to managing teams and businesses.

Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes allows you to see differing viewpoints. By understanding your team on this level, you can develop skillsets whilst boosting loyalty and respect.

Motivation
Leaders who empowered and self-motivated set the best example for those working with them. It’s not about constantly working overtime or on weekends to complete a job. It’s about caring for the quality and value of your output.

Aim to reach goals and aspire to improve yourself along the way. You can easily accomplish this, by understanding the value of your job. Always protect your worth; and be optimistic through high and low times.

Self-awareness
Leaders must dedicate support and care towards subordinates. They need to be able to read rooms and spot signs of growing troubles. Being aware of external feelings and behaviours, can set the precedence for your own state.

To help manage self-awareness, keep a journal of your own thoughts and actions. You can also examine intense states of emotion. Acknowledging where stress or anger may be coming from can help you control and minimise its effects.

Self-regulation
Regulating ourselves ensures rational and control over excessive emotional states. Leaders who practice self-regulation will rarely make emotional judgments or statements.

Shouting, mistreating, compromising–if you regulate external emotions, you gain respect and value from others.

Social skills
Another skill which personifies great levels of emotional intelligence, are social skills. These can be found through all sorts of workplace formats.

Solid communication skills, managing conflicts democratically, even providing fair feedback. These all come about from having great social skills.

You can simultaneously develop grow workplace relations, too. And in return, employees will present loyalty, respect and value for the business.

Strive for successful leadership

For leaders of all kinds–professional and personal–understanding the importance of emotional intelligence is a must.

Recognising emotional states and atmospheres allows you to form better, more interconnected relationships.

Focus on implementing different elements of emotional intelligence. With stronger bonds, leadership success and achievements will undoubtedly blossom.